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A beautiful quote from Charles Spurgeon:

“I have learned to kiss the wave that strikes me against the Rock of Ages.”

Photo by Gary D Moon

Thanks Chuck for passing it along.

On Sunday, July 18th, I shared my testimony in church as part of a call to the office of Deacon. Several people have asked me for a written version of what I shared and I’m posting it here for those purposes:

Several months ago, Pastor Mark Bates told me that as part of the Officer Candidate process I’d have to share my testimony in church – in front of all 15,000,000 of you. Twice.  He told me it would be an “opportunity for sanctification.” I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m not normally in the habit of chasing down more opportunities to be sanctified – they hunt me down pretty good as it is.

I am very happy to be here with you all and I’d like share with you a little bit about myself.

My wife, Kathi, and I have been married for 20 years this November.  I am a father to four of the most delightful children you will ever meet: Dax, Maggie, Anna Kathryn, and Zoe. I am a computer programmer and a business owner. I am a gadget freak and a Lost fanatic. Most importantly, though, I am a lover of Christ  - only because He first loved me.

My wife, Kathi, recently shared me a wonderful word picture: “sanctification is like doing laundry: just when you think you are done, you find another dirty pile tucked away in the corner of a room.”

Isn’t that where we all are? We’re a people struggling to live this thing called “life”, a people in constant need of remembering the Gospel.  That’s where I’ve been the last 40 years, and its people on a similar journey that I long to serve:  people needing to be reminded of the promises of God when nothing else looks promising.

When God called me to Himself at age 15, I didn’t know about sanctification or justification. I just had this deep longing for Jesus, who was lived out in front of me by my Grandfather, also a Deacon in the PCA church. I wanted what my Grandfather had more than anything I had seen in my own home  – my parents divorcing at age 9; my sitting in the back seat of an old Buick while my single mother drove aimlessly drunk down a dark highway; holding my drunken father while he wept in my arms over a love he lost and would never be able to find again; my living in fear of a step-father who constantly threatened me with physical pain and death; and hearing the constant snickering of classmates while I struggled with a severe speech problem.

My growth in Christ began after I got married, but that doesn’t mean life got easier.  God used that time of growing to bury deep within my heart attributes of His Character and His Promises – nuggets of gold that my family and I would cling to while our world got turned upside down.

Through the past seven years, our family has walked an exhausting journey as our daughter, Maggie, battled brain cancer and the consequences of winning that fight. It has pained me beyond words to watch unabashed suffering get unleashed – time and time again – not just on Maggie, but on my other children and my wife as well.

Our walk, though, has not been one that we have walked alone. God’s promises worked themselves out through you – His church. We have been prayed for, prayed over, provided for, cared for, cried over, and joined together in many tears of happiness as Maggie has become well. That is not anything of your own doing – that is Christ working through you and He used you to care for us. That is God’s Promises at work. That is what we, His people, needing constant reminding of.

My life is a living story about God’s Faithfulness in caring for His children and strengthening them when there seems to be no end in sight.

From Tim Keller’s book Ministers of Mercy:

Joshua 22:5
5 Only be very careful to observe the commandment and the law that Moses the servant of the LORD commanded you, to love the LORD your God, and to walk in all his ways and to keep his commandments and to cling to him and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul. ”

“Pride is spiritual cancer: it eats up the very possibility of love, or contentment, or even common sense” – C.S. Lewis

I’ve been friends with Jeffrey Weeks for a long time, and I’ve always admired his photography work.  He’s also one of the greatest friends a guy could ask for. He and another friend recently started a photography business specializing in lifestyle photography for schools, businesses, and more.

Jeffrey came by my office the other day to do a shoot and I was very pleased with his work. Head over and check it out. If you, your business, or your clients are need of professional photography work, I encourage you to contact ShowTheStory.com. You’ll be very impressed with the results.

I’ve always struggled with 5 minute testimonies, and not just because I hate speaking in public. I know they have a purpose, but this is what I frequently hear while someone is giving their testimony: this is how bad my life was before Christ, this is how I came to know I needed Christ, and this is how great things have been since then. Well, I don’t know about the rest of you, but my life hasn’t been like that and still isn’t like that. As my wife so eloquently describes it: “The Christian life is so hard. So very hard. It’s like being filleted with a butter knife- with no anesthesia.”

My life has been about being around hurting people so God could prepare me to be a hurting person, see my need to be constantly reminded of His Gospel, and serve those who are also hurting – people struggling with their relationship with God, chasing after completeness, temptation, humility, anger, depression, living the reality of living in a fallen world, dealing with the consequences of sin, or just dealing with the consequences of the weaving of God’s tapestry.

When God called me to Himself at age 15, the only thing I knew was that I wanted Him more than anything I had seen in my previous 15 years. I didn’t know about regeneration before faith, sanctification, or propitiation. I just desired Jesus. I lived in fear of a step-father who always threatened me with pain and death, but I never had Strength to hold on to while the pain was underway. I remember yelling in fear at my mom from the back seat of an old Buick while she drove aimlessly drunk down a dark highway. At age 10, I remember never leaving my mom’s bedside in fear she was going to die. She was very sick, single, and hurting mightily. At age 14, I remember holding my drunken father while he wept in my arms about the love he lost and would never be able to find again.

Coming to Christ didn’t fix any of that. What God has done, and continues to do through that, though, has been simply amazing.

I used to hold my own father while he wept over his past sins and his utter lostness. Today, I’ve cried in the lap of my heavenly Father, utterly helpless and angry with the lot He cast for my wife and children, struggling with trust, but holding on ever-so-dearly to the truths I knew about God, but were finding ever-so-difficult to emotionally believe.

I’ve held my wife while she lost herself in a never-ending pile of laundry, crying in despair over anxiety, worry, anger, and trust – all the time knowing I was dealing with my own set of issues regarding anxiety, worry, anger, and trust.

I’ve felt the melting away of fear from my children as they ran to me in worry , watching an ambulance take their sister away. They needed me to be Christ to them while I was struggling to hold on to Christ myself.

I’ve been prayed for, prayed over, and watched over by many men in this church, desperately wanting to see the promises of Christ played out. During a time I was leading Men’s Ministry, I remember sitting down to breakfast with “The” Jerry Bridges and his sharing his own struggles with me of his first wife battling cancer. Can the blessings of God get any better than that? Jerry Bridges + breakfast, connecting with you one-on-one?

I’ve watched the process of God sanctifying my life, only to turn the corner and see another pile of dirty laundry that needed His cleansing.

Through all of that, there has been a single constant – God’s ever present Grace, strength, and faithfulness. He created within me a desire for Himself, sacrificed His own Son for me, and has been ever faithful in holding me close. He never promised me a life of ease or that pain would be short-lived. He just promised He would be there. And that, my friends, is what He’s been.

I count it a privilege being filleted alongside you. When we are living out our lot in front of the body of Christ as “exhibit A”, it strengthens the Body & brings glory to God. It makes others want to live for His Kingdom & let their own kingdoms fall.

“But to a man on a mountain road by night, a glimpse of the next three feet of road may matter more than a vision of the horizon.”

C.S. Lewis, in a letter to Sheldon Vanauken