Driving across the front range of the Rocky Mountains is one of the most beautiful drives there is. Rolling hills, wild flowers, winding roads, trains hauling coal, and ranches nestled between bluffs – all set against the backdrop of towering mountains offering unique perspectives at every turn.
It was against that backdrop today that I began pondering what it really means to trust God with myself and how that practically plays out in the day to day. My stomach gets queasy just thinking about it. Oddly enough, though, it is also where I long to be.
Trusting God with myself means that things won’t quite work out the way I expect them to. Like a kid waking up early Christmas morning, sometimes I’ll walk down stairs and peer into the living room hoping to see that bright red bike. Yet, it won’t be there. Tucked away behind the tree, though, is something richer that I never thought to ask for, yet He knew I needed.
Trusting God with myself means I’m trusting that He’ll be there to help me work on those sin issues that keep nagging away at me. I’m trusting that when He says He loves me regardless, He really means it and that He isn’t secretly belittling me behind my back. It means trusting that Grace really is real.
Trusting God with myself means desiring what He wants for me more than what I want for myself. It means that the promised pleasures of sin are a grain of sand compared to the Joy He says I’ll have in Him. It means remembering that even in the midst of prolonged pain.
Trusting God with myself means letting go of fear and performance and, instead, holding on to my identity. It means my standing with God isn’t based upon what I did today, how I screwed up, whom I helped or how badly I spoke. It means when He sees me, He sees Christ’s perfect obedience and that He really is madly in love with me.
Trusting God with myself means extending mercy and grace to others – because they have been so lavishly poured out upon me.
photo credit: rmrider.com